Got to get down to get up

I know what I want 

and still, 

I writhe in lies

who does this 

through me 

who does this? 

Am I pure enough to see them through? 

Or will I be consumed by the desire of the ones I love. 

by my desire for the ones I love. 

No one is doing this to me or for me. 

What is this growing up? 

That one time I was scared

I might have forgotten how to put my feelings into words.

In the blinding light of Oneness there was no need to explain myself.

I am certain that the fade is fine.

I am here now. Mostly terrified of feeling apart from you or anyone else under the Sun.

I wanted us all to be the face of God.

I was so sure that we were.

Perception is clouded by depression.

That is what this is. 
I know that

BE NICE

you're either riding it
or under it

can you be understanding
knowledge
cannot hold you

can you permit yourself to visit the full spectrum of human emotion
a cosmic tourist of the heart

there is no one to blame
for the weight of your longing

no one to praise for the light of your heart

just you
just you
just you

seeking endlessly
why not sit
in the heart and let it show you

you can't return return
to the one
you've never left
so settle down
and take a breath

the journey home
you keep meaning to take
well it stops now
you are home now.

can you love and laugh with the judgement
of dissatisfaction
the pull of your heart
is nothing to escape

you are already free
the infinite lies before you
go on
keep pretending to recognize
what you have never seen before

remember to WELCUM urself

Now is too hot to handle for those parts of me that can't be real 

with the sensual reality of this incarnation. 

wallflowers have come to fruition, 

pollinated by the realization of inherent belonging. 

You are here because GOD put you hear.  

you put you here

the innocent bystander has daydreamed the fall of man.

The awakened one stands in the power of cocreation. 

The Beloved says, this is my realm. Remember to welcum yourself 

my own heart

I almost fell asleep in the back seat Of the car on the way home 

My lap empty and beckoning 

I felt myself curl around the space 

And imagined holding myself 

Draped over Mary's knees 

I felt the embrace of all that is and isn't 

Then I noticed the tickle in my throat and worried about my own health 

put me in that place
because I only want
to keep meeting the wine
the Beloved is pouring into my blood

fill out all the wilted places in the universe
the parts that have forgotten our truth
of being
light without boundary
or decay
breathe sap into the flesh of where we are headed
reach into our root
and remind ourselves
that we have never been apart

what will I do with my new body?
I always thought that I loved enough.
but these are old and tired now
this loving and thinking
the lonely I
new limbs to feel my Self
are reaching across our bodies
seeding
this Earth so well prepared
with the deaths of all those hurts
Next time you see me
see you