we fight

maybe its not such a good idea to keep us bound
together by like ideas
i love you so
i take your thoughts for mine
of which i'm so tired
i take your thoughts for mine
the one's i have to leave
running reckless peeves
they don't seem to make much sense to me
so why yours for mine?
see where i've gotten stuck
can almost put a finger on it

i'm looking for a better bind
than fickle ideas that resemble mine
i would like our hearts to sing together
what water keeps together
heart embrace all human weather
with eye wet
how can i forget?
the effort it takes to hold
heat
stealing warmth
from crumbs to eat

what pretends to tend to another
watch them do the dance of we
while i watch
i know its me
i'll be the slave
you get set free
when i stop acting
nothing happens

when nobody's looking
i disappear

don't catch yourself watching
i forget
shapes i take

i will pass myself
again
been here more times
than i can count
when i walk past
lights light my path
when i pass by
bath towels rustle
oh to be of place
following taste

food energy
reflected in your eyes


inside feeding out

post heavy whipping cream; most of us will have died

unsavory bone sore
dehydrated probably
i put on "an ending"
thought i might feel better
but only remembered that i've felt better
when i get home i promise to only imbibe energetic kindness
of green juice grown close to where i sleep
for a couple days at least
not that it matters
but maybe it does
in some small way
just like i've found some small ways to be more comfortable
than most of my blood relations
can't imagine fearing potential lovers' mother's opinions
maybe i'm too worried about my own opinions
at dinner tonight i turned to my cousin
and asked her to imagine us fifty years from now
i looked around and realized most of us will have died
she said at the rate technology is going we could be on a different planet
i imagined myself speaking fluent swiss german
a late life immigrant with exotic children
all blonde

by the grace of god go i

feel like the rug is always being pulled out from under me
or maybe that's just the wool being pulled over my eyes
wondering what this small bit is
that keeps interpreting the world
as something else acting upon it
how do i hold this--

i am the keeper of something delicate
will tread softly on my own thoughts
that way everybody wins

Bodysong Part II

I wake in the darkness
to my heart skipping beats
and it seems nothing can cure me
but the lull of a familiar melody

under closer investigation
i see myself facing the unknown
emotions expand in my chest
of sizable weight and unknown breadth
and i wonder, how long is this going to take me?

i turn towards an old song
attending to familiar territory
with blood on the tracks
we'll run over comforting sound waves
how old is this place?
how old?

I dream of haunting houses
making visits to an apocalypse cliff
i live like this world is my center
even though it's sun that holds me together
whenever I tell myself to keep it together
i'm just pretending to hold that weight on my shoulders
makes me feel important

rings of saturn

the colossal beauty of a human face buried in another's neck
ties me to
a childhood memory, fits of laughter
of being tickled senseless

I listen for the rain
in servitude
as it barrels down
making connections between all of the raindrops
and the warmth beneath your skin

somewhere in time this moment is unfolding
but for now
just my pen pressed against paper
all of my ritual magic
simplified to small wrist movements
on the edge of symbolic empty space
made from the bodies of sacrificial trees
this is what i do to sing in reality
nothing too fancy
just heartbreakingly slow enough to notice---

falling to earth i realize my sense of solitude is brief

When I open my mouth it only means I don't know

what would i say if if i could speak honestly
if i could give you words without need underneath,
other than I love you, I hope you make it in one piece

I was cut from stone
and then was born from clay
now my blood does freely flow
I'll give it back someday

I can see the sun
there's water in my eye
round in circles run
until the day we die

round in circles go
makes time to pass us by

my breath is in the wind
my body in the soil
with thoughts illuminate the dark
say, "time to rest from toil!"