Got to get down to get up

I know what I want 

and still, 

I writhe in lies

who does this 

through me 

who does this? 

Am I pure enough to see them through? 

Or will I be consumed by the desire of the ones I love. 

by my desire for the ones I love. 

No one is doing this to me or for me. 

What is this growing up? 

That one time I was scared

I might have forgotten how to put my feelings into words.

In the blinding light of Oneness there was no need to explain myself.

I am certain that the fade is fine.

I am here now. Mostly terrified of feeling apart from you or anyone else under the Sun.

I wanted us all to be the face of God.

I was so sure that we were.

Perception is clouded by depression.

That is what this is. 
I know that

BE NICE

you're either riding it
or under it

can you be understanding
knowledge
cannot hold you

can you permit yourself to visit the full spectrum of human emotion
a cosmic tourist of the heart

there is no one to blame
for the weight of your longing

no one to praise for the light of your heart

just you
just you
just you

seeking endlessly
why not sit
in the heart and let it show you

you can't return return
to the one
you've never left
so settle down
and take a breath

the journey home
you keep meaning to take
well it stops now
you are home now.

can you love and laugh with the judgement
of dissatisfaction
the pull of your heart
is nothing to escape

you are already free
the infinite lies before you
go on
keep pretending to recognize
what you have never seen before

remember to WELCUM urself

Now is too hot to handle for those parts of me that can't be real 

with the sensual reality of this incarnation. 

wallflowers have come to fruition, 

pollinated by the realization of inherent belonging. 

You are here because GOD put you hear.  

you put you here

the innocent bystander has daydreamed the fall of man.

The awakened one stands in the power of cocreation. 

The Beloved says, this is my realm. Remember to welcum yourself 

my own heart

I almost fell asleep in the back seat Of the car on the way home 

My lap empty and beckoning 

I felt myself curl around the space 

And imagined holding myself 

Draped over Mary's knees 

I felt the embrace of all that is and isn't 

Then I noticed the tickle in my throat and worried about my own health 

put me in that place
because I only want
to keep meeting the wine
the Beloved is pouring into my blood

fill out all the wilted places in the universe
the parts that have forgotten our truth
of being
light without boundary
or decay
breathe sap into the flesh of where we are headed
reach into our root
and remind ourselves
that we have never been apart

what will I do with my new body?
I always thought that I loved enough.
but these are old and tired now
this loving and thinking
the lonely I
new limbs to feel my Self
are reaching across our bodies
seeding
this Earth so well prepared
with the deaths of all those hurts
Next time you see me
see you

return to the well
moonlight reflecting
on water's skin
the sun

internal eye
lit with sight

with nothing
i still the world

the road is only something we made.
the path is only what we crave.

i keep coming back,
to feet, to walk the well trod path.

oh Spirit growing ripe,
to be plucked by Death
from the Tree of Life.

not much unlike,

Earth. Sunning on celestial vine.

this circling in time, appears to mind, a line.

not this, not this,
said for the hundred trillionth time.

nitsa pomerleau: Equinox

nitsa pomerleau: Equinox: ....Edward Gorey

don't be so sentimental
let go of dark ways
of wasted days and waiting


light has found your eye again
are you going to turn it away?

What is opinion, but a fractured vision?
In every breath there is something I have not yet carried
Open hoping: to present, to presence, to death.
Feeling body, feeling mind that calls it mine.

I, loves you.
I am, and all Is die.
Would you hold me for a while?

the eternal lovers are too big and you can't see their gestures

nothing to delay

i have to remember this.

reconciliation

our ancestors probably huddled together on an icy train
now you and i sleep in peaceful nights
probably held hands up some far east mountain
all past times, only pastimes
your silly book of poems, now hardened into scripture
you've been wrestling with yourself for as long as you remember
you and i
some splinters from the center

all lost things will come scrambling back

drift with me
a softened story set upon the water

don't forget to put maca in your muesli

last night
I felt crackly and bad
the socks were disparaging
from their rickety wicker abode

Sat slumped in the closet
waiting for you to say nice things
to pick me off of the floor of myself

I can barely leave the house when socks don't go my way

this morning i awoke to your kind gesture
of shepherding socks
tied them to apron strings
so they wouldn't be hard to find
for my lazy searching

more to it than meets the eye,
ear or heart
but i just want to be love
and take it easy
so i will
and work
to try
and then i'm lost in all that stuff
i must come from so much space
that's why i'm so restless

ariel pink i love you, along with all the other beings

might just be a grey lizard warming his body
on a rock's face
but i'm not
i think to warm this heart
that is circling space like a tiny sun

a pulsing light with every beat
like a lighthouse
except there aren't any rocks
just endless sea
and there is no one coming home

hey hey woody guthrie i wrote you a song

so glad to see you here
from behind our eyes we peer out
like little children
stuck in bedrooms
feelings sorry for what you've been through
don't even try to keep it to yourself
you put on a face to help
see each other
i just want to take you from yourself
out from under



ya, it sounds horrendous
to let it fall aside
remember in the long stream
horror's not unkind
for the sweetness to come out
you must crack the sweet fruit

Low energy realization

It seems i'm forgetting again how lucky I am
but i've been able to notice
that this has happened before
so looping through ill pull up some gratitude

why not eat our way to good feelings?
Greens alive full of sap
and other entities who gladly go to die
in my digestive tract

so much space and time
between the time we drove around counting lights
and now i'm doing that again
have we traveled at all
in spinning revolve
and all desire dissolves
I wanted so badly to be born

we round

don't think we can understand rounding
just something to feel in the back of your skull